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He stepped forward and his running shoe came off of his foot. Albert looked in the mirror and screamed."Kerri! I'm?I'm a? a? gir?girl! I'M A GIRL!!!" Yes, you are, now calm down, it's okay." THE HELL IT IS! I'M SHELLY, GARY'S GIRLFRIEND FROM CALIFORNIA! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?"Kerri took the ring off of Albert's finger and guided him back to the chair. She pressed a stone in his hand and told him to be quiet and relax. Albert was close to hyperventilating and she needed to get him quiet before someone heard him screaming. Her parents were gone shopping but Albert had been screaming pretty loud and his new higher pitched voice really carried.Albert felt the stone in his hand grow slightly warmer and he began to feel better, his breathing slowed and he regained some control. In another minute, he was still upset but he could talk in a normal tone of voice. "Kerri, what happened?" Albert, I'm going to tell you something that you wouldn't have believed a few minutes ago, I'm a. We’re talking much worse. We’re talking about lawyers and politicians. This means Trenton is the worst city in the worst state in the country. It’s even worse than Cleveland, which historians know as the place where the river kept catching on fire, just like in Hell, and music lovers know as the home of the Polka Hall of Fame, which just sounds like Hell. That’s right. Trenton is even worse than Hell.So these German soldiers found themselves in the worst city in America on December 25, 1776. They did just what you would expect any human being stuck in Trenton on Christmas Day to do. They got sloshed out of their minds.George Washington, upon learning that the soldiers were in Trenton, realized that this was the perfect time to attack them, because the Hessians would be far too drunk to do anything about it. However, Washington and the American army were in Pennsylvania at the time. To get to Trenton, they would have to get across the Delaware River.Doing so is theoretically easy,.
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